Hoax of the Day: The Deepwater Horizon was destroyed by a North Korean mini-sub

No, the Deepwater Horizon oil platform wasn’t destroyed by a North Korean minisub, and there is no “press blackout” keeping this story from the American people. Because it’s a hoax.

It seems a pity to debunk such a preposterous tale. But the story is already being reported as fact on Facebook and Twitter, and it’s really no more outlandish than the persistent rumor that “eco-terrorists” somehow had a hand in the biggest environmental disaster of recent memory. That hasn’t stopped the conspiratorially minded from embarrassing themselves all over the web. Or Rush Limbaugh, who also couldn’t help himself.

This hoax begins like many others …

…With an unverifiable source and allegations of a sinister cover-up:

A grim report circulating in the Kremlin today written by Russia’s Northern Fleet is reporting that the United States has ordered a complete media blackout over North Korea’s torpedoing of the giant Deepwater Horizon oil platform owned by the World’s largest offshore drilling contractor Transocean that was built and financed by South Korea’s Hyundai Heavy Industries Co. Ltd., that has caused great loss of life, untold billions in economic damage to the South Korean economy, and an environmental catastrophe to the United States.

Ah, yes: Russia’s Northern Fleet. Not exactly the sort of chaps you can phone-up to source a story. That didn’t prevent the EU Times from running it. They’re a bit like those tabloids you can’t help browsing in the supermarket checkout line — only a bit less reputable.

Within this ponderously run-on sentence, there are a few grains of truth. It has been speculated (though by no means proven) that some sort of crude NK mini-sub might be responsible for the March sinking of the South Korean patrol vessel Cheonan. The Deepwater Horizon was also constructed in a South Korean shipyard, and the Gulf spill is, indeed, an environmental catastrophe.

Then it gets weirder

The story goes on to claim that a North Korean cargo vessel bound from Havana to a port in Venezuela deployed a min-sub, which then torpedoed the BP-operated platform. As a grand finale, it blew itself up beneath the flaming rig two days later, sending the Deepwater Horizon to the bottom and provoking a possible nuclear retaliation by the United States.

Offered as corroborating proof: President Obama dispatched SWAT security units Wednesday to Gulf oil platforms. This is true, though it’s difficult to imagine what small arms teams would do about a mystery fleet of mini-subs.

Sorcha Faal strikes again

Though the EU Times doesn’t attribute its source, a quick Google reveals the author to be Sorcha Faal, the well-know internet hoaxer. For perspective, some of Faal’s recent potboilers:

• Parliament Of Owls Gives ‘Final Warning’ To America
• US Quake Test Goes “Horribly Wrong”, Leaves 500,000 Dead In Haiti
• Ring Of Fire Eclipse Gives Grave Warning To World
• Norway Time Hole “Leak” Plunges Northern Hemisphere Into Chaos
• “Who Are They?” Russian Scientists Ask About Mysterious Objects Near Sun

Little green men, earthquake machines, and an accusatory congress of raptors. Entertaining stuff, but not a pedigree which lends much credence to the North Korean mini-sub story.

That this is an obvious hoax won’t spare your inbox a few weeks of ominous-sounding chain letters (no doubt punctuated by ginormous red headlines, yellow ribbons, and eye-searing animated American flags). But feel free to pass when asked to stand your turn on the coastal watch. The North Koreans aren’t coming.