Over on Facebook this morning, a friend of mine made an interesting observation. I don’t have permission to quote him, so I’ll present it anonymously:
We identify emotionally with our possessions because we’re not physically capable of holding enough meaning and memories by ourselves.
The guy who wrote this is a brilliant designer, responsible for some of the most beautiful contemporary housewares I’ve ever seen. So I can appreciate his attachment to objects — especially the lovely ones. But what he’s said here springs directly from the modern “we-are-our-stuff” myth which has so seduced us.
Whatever meaning, emotion, or memory is conjured by an object already exists within. There’s nothing wrong with stuff: I’m no ascetic, and minimalism is a method to achieving joy and balance — plenty. However, what’s at the root of my friend’s thought is something more than the desire for meaning .
Why we grasp so tightly
We sometimes collect things for good reason: need, for example, or the perfectly natural human impulse to curate beauty. But the main reason we cling to things, I believe, is fear. Specifically:
- We fear want
- We fear not being able to provide for others
- We fear forgetting
- We fear not being loved
- We fear the unknown
You are not your things
We hold on for dear life. It’s futile, of course. The nature of material things is dissolution, and the meaning we find in objects is ultimately a reflection of our own thoughts. So when we talk about our stuff holding meaning, we have things precisely backwards. Our own memories, emotions, and experience are the source of that meaning.
We define our stuff — not the other way around. There’s no reason to fear letting go. Ultimately, we’ll do that, anyway. We enter and depart the stage with an empty hand.
Clinging to objects is the root of over-consumption, and the potential ruin of planet.
Image of hand grasping a box by Flickr user Carlanoff / CC BY-SA 2.0
